The Handmade Love Series Presents: I AM SHE

The Handmade Love Series Presents: I AM SHE

Each Month, The Kathleen Nicole Blog will feature and highlight a Black Woman Writer. This month, Tallia Hill shares a poem delving into her journey of true self-discovery.


I AM SHE

The heart sees what it feels

The mind sees what it knows

The eyes see what it perceives

My thoughts leads to my beliefs

The path I choose becomes illusions of past, present, and hopes detained

Pain and suffering remains

Subconsciously I’m moving at a rapid pace

In my dreams I already arrived

In my reality I’m complacent

 In fear that keeps me stuck in yester year

Where do I go from here?

What if what I feel is normal?

A sign that leads to my ugly truth

What if what I know isn’t a doubt

 But a surety?

What if my eyes see beyond what it can’t fathom?

What if my thoughts are just me channeling things that aren’t real?

Who knows who I am

Who I once was

And where I ought to be

All I know is I am SHE and she is Me!


When you read I AM SHE you are meeting a woman who doubts herself and her spiritual abilities. I was looking for the answers in people I deemed more knowledgeable and more balanced when the answers were within. I doubted the things that was shown to me from spirit because I was listening to everyone’s voice but my own higher self. All my life I was told what to believe, how to think, what to do and what not to do. I even allowed people to speak curses over me, by not only believing those things to be true but to act the total opposite of who I truly am. The last two years I was coming out of a dark space and place. Why was getting to know me so very hard?


I felt like I was in a mental battle daily from juggling motherhood, dealing with past trauma, wanting to dance to my own music but afraid of who I may offend in the process. I honestly tried to be all things to all people and clearly couldn’t deliver. I came off as being a liar and a fake. Those labels I can’t rock with. So now I just show up as myself and do what feels right to me.


In I AM SHE  it shows you how one can doubt the things we know and has been revealed to us from spirit.  Knowing who you are is only half of the battle when studying self. You have to trust yourself, believing wholeheartedly in what you know no matter how crazy the world says you are. I became so accustomed to letting family, ex lovers, so called friends, and even foes tell me who I am, what to feel, how to think, and what to do, I forgot that I was my own person and I’m responsible for me. I forgot my power!


So what phase am I in on my journey to self discovery? I will have to say acceptance of self; you know the good, bad, and the ugly truths. After learning who I am and who I never will be. I’m just flowing and letting love of self and others be my guide. In doing so it lead me to be my authentic self and accept that there are certain rooms I didn’t belong in and never will be in again!

Tallia Hill

One response to “The Handmade Love Series Presents: I AM SHE”

  1. This resonated a great deal with me. I greatly appreciate your courage to share. The journey of self-discovery for me has been intimate, isolated, and intimidating for those who resist change and accountability. I no longer believe that my experiences are uncommon. It’s a spiritual journey of awakening! I’m encouraged to come from behind the shadows of my innermost thoughts and feelings. Bless you, for your authenticity ❤️

    Like

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