“Self-esteem is the single most significant key to a person’s behavior”John C. Maxwell
Dictionary.com defines self-esteem as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities.” On the surface we know how important it is to have high self-esteem. But if we are being honest with ourselves, many of us struggle with developing and sustaining a high self-esteem. I know I do! The key words in the definition of self-esteem I want to focus on are “confidence in.” To have confidence in something or someone you must know that person or thing. You must know it or them and understand it thoroughly. How else will you have confidence in it or them? You must engage in research about it, investing time, energy, and resources in the process of building that confidence.
If you are to have confidence in your own worth or abilities i.e., a high self-esteem, then you must know your worth and abilities. A true and in-depth knowledge of who you are at the soul level and your inherent gifts, and expertise will anchor your confidence in yourself and build your self- esteem. Knowledge precedes the necessary “confidence in”. The confidence will be lacking without the self-knowledge of your own worth and abilities.
One of the best books I’ve read is, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell. In the book there was an exercise where you had to write down 100 things you liked about yourself. And I struggled after writing number 10.
Eventually I wrote down 100 things I liked about myself. But it revealed to me how little I knew about myself. It set me on a very intense lifelong journey of personal growth and development, radical self-love, and radical self-healing. I understood that I didn’t have confidence in myself (self-esteem) because I didn’t know myself.
The one thing you must do today is the same exercise John C. Maxwell encourages; write down 100 things you like about you! Don’t stop until you reach 100. You’ll never build the confidence in yourself unless you know yourself.
Now the question becomes why not experience radical self-love and what I like to call, “feeling the warmth of your own sun? Tap the image below to learn more about my book, “The Black Girl’s Guide to Radical Self-Love”.